Photos of SA trip

Inka with Nanny and Papa

On Durban beach

Inka with her cousins in Escourt

Steenberg Wine Farm

Just a moment please

Still catching up on my sleep after the long trip from Cape Town. I feel its all been a dream and the events and tragedies are yet to make their impact.

First a miscarriage which has been so disappointing and shocking. The scan the hospital did confirmed the baby had died at 8 weeks, and just before we were going to tell everyone. Id planned it all and then suddenly everything stopped. A week later I get a call from my mother that my Gran has died and in passing mentioned that my Uncle passed away a few days before. She thought I knew but I hadn't heard the news. It was a double whammy. I burst into tears that evening. I was just so homesick and really felt I wanted to be with my dad who had lost his mother and brother very quickly.

To cut a long story short, Andy, Inka and I ended up driving up to my Uncles funeral in Norfolk on Tuesday and then Cape Town on Wednesday morning, to get there for the funeral on Thursday. My worry was that Inka would be difficult, especially on such long journeys. I didn't have to worry, she was calm and jovial (mostly) through both trips. We almost didn't get our connecting flight in Amsterdam due to the flight being delayed and as a consequence our luggage didn't turn up until 2 days later. A frantic shopping spree ensued just before the funeral in order to get something half decent to wear. I was telling someone on our flight about the fact that all I to wear was a dirty pair of jeans to the funeral and she said something along the lines of it not mattering, it would be more important to show up. I laughed and said my Gran was a real lady, she often would be aghast at anyone turning up to any function in jeans. I made sure that for the funeral I was dressed in a classic black dress and beautiful high heels in memory and respect to her.

We stayed in SA for almost 3 weeks. Its been so incredible to see my family. Inka was a real delight and she got really attached to her Nanny and Papa. Angela, my wonderful sister flew us up to see her clan in Escourt and I was blown away at their generosity and care. We had our final night with Angela, Hash, Shakeel and Layla in Durban overlooking the beach in a seaside apartment.

So its back to life here and I'm still coming to terms with the loss of my baby and I am not sure where I go from here. Life goes on no matter what happens but can I just have a moment please?

First Shoes and her art work

I finally got Inka her first pair of shoes. They are pale blue with pink trim and soles, and have pictures of horses on them. Her scribbles show a great deal of artistic ability even at this young age I think. All I need to do now is find a way to stop her getting pen all over her mouth when she draws with felt tips.

funny things documented

At almost 16months...here are funny things Inka is doing:

Puts he hands up and roars, trying to scare you; Laughs when her stuffed rabbit sniffs her feet; Turns on the CD player and dances; gives family hugs (mum, dad and her); Asks for her stuffed rabbit by trying to twitch her nose (ends up blinking her eyes) and up turning her hands up to ask where; Runs away quickly when we say GO! GO! Can tell you what a cat/dog/fish/cow/bird says; Picks up a phone and puts it to the back of her head says "hello" in an accent!

Some words she can say:
apple, owl, cake, mama, dada, hello, car, cup, go, up, bag, tweet, cat

Not an extensive list but thought Id document it now before she moves on to the next set of things.

Up and Running

Oops not written for ages! Well...Inka is up and not just walking but running. She was standing for ages and then suddenly she decided walking is much easier and running even better. She is less clingy and less frustrated. I was beginning to wonder if the limpit would ever detach herself from my leg. For my birthday Andy and I had a wonderful night in London. With much anxiety and concern Inka and I parted...she was fine. It was traumatic for me! She had a whale of a time at David and Jeans (Andy`s mum and dad) and didn't seem at all bothered when we turned up to pick her up.

I write this blog after going to the pub with Grandad David, Granny Jean and Uncle Michael, Inka was running all over the pub, visiting each table and showing great interest in the contents of women`s bags. Such a cutie and the best stage so far I think...

Cake video clip

www.inkastephenson.co.uk

Cut and paste the above address into your address toolbar to see Inka asking for cake when having her dinner. Shes using baby signing to express her needs and its amazing how many signs she knows. She often hears us talking referring to words she knows and does the sign. I didn't even think she was listening. Just shows, little ears pick up everything. Actually the sign she uses for cake means "difficult" in sign language.

Cake!

Some photos for Inka`s adoring fans...We discovered a beautiful place called Tilgate Park in Crawley on a sunny bank holiday. A picnic next to the Lake kept Inka amused as she played with apples I brought. Roaming dogs made her point and giggle. Inka has become very good at asking and doing her own sign for "cake" which we have discovered she thinks is anything with sugar in it. She loved the remains of my ice cream and got it all over her. At the moment she loves going for a walk as you hold her arms. She loves it when you walk really fast with her. As she hasn't started walking yet she loves being upright this way and cries when you stop. Very exhausting. Shes communicating so well with signs and words. Although sometimes the sounds are not well articulated, she can say amongst others, the words "gone" "tea" "hot" and "custard" and "pasta". I just sit in absolute awe.

First birthday

Inka`s first birthday. We went to Bluebird cafe on the Seafront for a cup of tea in the afternoon. Inka got a ride on her daddy`s shoulders and got really excited when dogs tottered by. In the evening Andy`s parents came round for the opening of the presents. I was amazed as in the week before hand, card after card arrived for Inka and then Australian parcels graced our doorstep for her. She got the hang of ripping the paper off the presents. Great Gran and Grandad Wareham gave her a little doll which we all thought we heard her call "Emma". I made her a birthday carrot cake which she seemed to enjoy. Im such a mum, thinking up ways to get those vegetable in! I gave Inka her last breast feed a few days ago. She hasnt seemed too bothered about it. I think Im more upset than she is. Its one of first and many steps towards her being more independent from me. I remind myself that being a mum is all about embracing the process of letting go.

Home Sweet Home

Its been too long since I wrote last. Our trip to South Africa seems ages ago now. I was so homesick after coming back mostly because it was so special being with the family again. My brother is newly married...all grown up now! Angela, my sister came down from Escourt (near Durban) with Hash her hubbie and my niece and nephew. It was fun having all the children playing together and Inka meeting her cousins. Inka was rather poorly to start with, getting conjunctivitis and generally being very clingy and unhappy. I so wanted the family to see she is a sociable fun little baby. I think she gave a wrong impression as she wasn't at all well. She cheered up alot after the medication kicked in. We took her to swim with the penguins. She likes water but couldn't get to grips with the fact that beach has sea water that is cold, it moves and it has this funny grainy stuff underfoot. While we were at my mum and dads she started crawling really well and climbing the stairs...get those stair gates on! She made friends with Xena the dog even though Xena just wanted to lick her all the time (YUCK!).

NO!!!

Well well... Inka seems to have come on leaps and bounds after Christmas. She has started to get herself around, following me everywhere by pulling herself on her tummy. Just started getting on all fours and rocking. The Christmas tree decorations get pulled off but that's our fault because we should have taken the Christmas decorations down by now! She seems very determined and knows how to express herself. Shakes her head for NO and throws little tantrums when you take something she wants away, grumbles when she wants to be picked up...at least now she has a range of expressions. Shes less frustrated and I'm really enjoying the communication with her. Ive given in my resignation at school and it feels good. Ill miss the wonderful department at the college but I been thinking theres no way I can foster well and look after Inka if I'm trying to balance that with teaching. It does make you think about what your identity is and how a job or what you do can affect that, but I feel confident that my time with Inka and other young people in our care is very valuable.