Birth Story

Yes, OK. I know not everyone wants to hear my birth story. So if you are one of those don’t read this...if you are like me and like all the detail, enjoy!
It all started on Monday the 5th October at about 5am. My waters broke as I got out of bed. I was suprised as my due date was 2 and ½ weeks away. I expected the contractions to start there and then but nothing was happening. Andy phoned delivery suite and they asked for us to go in just to check all was fine as we couldn`t tell if waters were clear or not. They monitored baby`s heart beat and checked the fluid and all seemed fine. The midwife talked about booking an induction for the next morning. I was sure I wanted to avoid induction and they made sure I had the NICE guidelines, spoke a registrar and was informed of the risks of leaving it too long. I didn’t agree to setting a time for induction though as I really wanted it to happen naturally. I agreed to ring delivery suite back after 24hours to discuss. There were no contractions over the 24hours. We rang back the next day and baby was monitored in the morning. He was really happy, with a good heart beat, just no signs of labour. We agreed to ring back in 48hours but I could tell they were not very happy to leave it and I was told I was going against hospital policy. We had time to get things sorted at home and even went out for coffee after the hospital appointment. I started to panic a little and the birth seemed an eternity away. I was comforted to know from my googling that 9 out of 10 women go into labour within 48 hours of their waters breaking.
On Wednesday in the early hours of the morning I felt some twinges. Contractions by 1am were so strong I told Andy to get things ready and ring his parent. Focusing on the pain as something meaningful and telling myself it was bringing the baby to me, helped a lot. Using the TENS machine was also really helpful. I was surprised to use it so early on in the contractions and thought this may be a sign the baby was on its way quicker than I thought. Andy got me in the car as soon as I made a big groan and pushing face with a contraction, without giving me or delivery suite the option of going in or not. Quite perceptive really as when we got into the delivery room at about 4am, within 30mins I wanted to bear down and no midwife left us unattended. Andy, my advocate asked about my wished water birth. We were told there was no chance of this because of the risk of infection due to my waters breaking so long before labour had started.
I started to instinctively bear down in a semi squat. I was offered gas and air but felt at this point the contractions were helping me to feel how to push, so I declined. The midwife suggested squatting on the bed and then a birth stool to get into a position best for pushing the little one out. The midwife then wanted to check there was no anterior lip as I had one before with my previous labour. During an examination on my back on the bed I had a contraction. She said that that push had been really good and I continued to push, hitching my legs up. It’s funny I didn’t expect to be pushing on my back but it seemed to do the trick. Eventually with a lot more focus and pushing I could feel the baby`s head crowning and it stung like anything. Under the midwife`s instruction I used a panting breath and the baby`s head was born. It was amazing to see him emerge and be put straight onto my chest, all taking his first breath and his first gaze in my arms.
It was so special to hold him there and also be able to have physiological third stage (where you give birth to the placenta yourself). I ended up with only 1 stitch which I did have gas and air for.
Recovery has been quick and straight forward. He is feeding well and is such a lovely addition to our family.

Quinn Ephraim Stephenson

Our baby boy, Quinn Ephraim Stephenson arrived two weeks early on the 7th October at 6.07am. 7lb3oz Born naturally, with no pain relief (WHAT!!) and a very short labour which was a big suprised to me. He is perfect in every way.

Inka`s dress

Here we go Great Granny. See how well the dress fits. It`s one of my favourites to wear at the moment. Thank you.

More photos of SoCal

Tractor in a farm stall near the city of Dana Point.
Inka playing at St Clementes Beach
Inka and Andy, Historic Old Town, San Diego near our hotel.
Inka happy as she finally gets to see her beloved Polar Bear. He was asleep most of the time which didn`t bother her.

California

Our trip to California... Mostly stayed in Dana Point, near Laguna Beach, Orange County. We stayed with friends who have 3 adopted children from China. The girls were really good with Inka and in no time Inka was teaching them English nursery rhymes and demanding they do them with her on demand. Our friends eat mostly organic, sugar free food which seemed to helps me loads with my morning sickness. I'm going to miss Lois` home made sour dough bread every day and trips to the coolest health food stores. Highlights were roasting hot dogs in the fire pits of Doheney Beach, experiencing a fifties diner complete with jukebox, hamburger, fries and milkshake and managing to eat an avocado and bacon salad as Inka slept in a restaurant overlooking Laguna Beach.
We went to San Diego for a week, using public transport all the way. Inka had her first ride on a bus. She wanted to sing the wheels on the bus all the time and was fascinated to see the doors on the bus really did go "open and shut all day long". Seaworld in San Diego was a hit, mostly because Inka just loved it all, especially polar bears, killer whales, otters and being able to stroke star fish and manta rays.
I had to get used to saying "restroom" instead of toilet, "to go" instead of take away and "sidewalk" instead of pavement otherwise Id get confused looks all round. I cant believe the size of the drinks they give you in restaurants. Americans must have very large bladders.
For more photos look at my facebook album.

Boys will be boys

So we had our scan. Its a boy! I must say I was a little in shock. I was expecting a girl and we had been throwing ideas around for boy`s names and couldn't`t think of any boys names we liked. I had said from the start that our experience with this baby`s scan was so different from Inka`s and so it must be a boy. He was so relaxed on the 12 week scan and on this 20 week scan, he had his back to the sonographer and wouldn't move. She had to make us go for a coffee and come back so that she could get a better look. The scan showed him to be all well. Ive come to terms with the shock that I'm having a boy...so exciting. We think we have a name for him too. We are not telling yet though.

Paying Attention

Ive been told I don't update my blog enough! Its nice to know there are some of you paying attention! Here are some more recent photos of Inka. We went for a walk through a field in Patcham to see the Chhatri, a monument to the Hindu and Sikh soldiers who died in the World War One and a sculpture there for the Brighton Festival. Ill update soon with our trip to California when we get back! California here we come. Other news is I'm 20 weeks pregnant, we have our scan on Monday and will find out if its a brother or sister for Inka.

The Two Year Old

Inka the two year old. Her party was relaxing and fun. With a few friends she made teddy biscuits, ate together with teddys on the picnic blanket and devoured ice cream. Her face was full of awe and delight as her teddy cake came out and we sang happy birthday to her. I was surprised to find that she could blow her candles out on her cake. All my hard work on perfecting my first teddy bear children`s birthday cake and she said it was a dog! She enjoyed every moment and loved the attention. Her present of a sandpit is being well used, only its not so warm outside and she wants either Andy or I to sit with her at all times while shes playing in there. Another favourite present is her chick rucksack, as soon as she put it on she waved goodbye and said "Going to work" and walked out the door. She is still a delight and as funny as can be.

Snow Day

On Monday the snow stopped everything. Most schools in the area were closed, the rail service limited. It was fun seeing adults and children alike having snowball fights, making snowmen and slipping on the icing ground. Walking down the street I looked around and it all looked so pretty, white and clean, I could not help but smile. I realised that even though Id seen snow in England before this was the first time it had settled for the whole day and I could finally make a snowman. Now this is a very exciting thing for me, as a child growing up in South Africa I`d seen Christmas cards with snow, television depicting fun in the snow. Inka wanted to go outside straight away and look. Her first remark on the snow was "Oh Nooo, messy...wipe please". We made a snowman, Kamran helped as he rolled the biggest ball. I could only manage the snowman's head. Andy kept on laughing at my rolling technique. Inka was amused and watched us, she wanted to add stones for the snowman`s mouth but her gloves are a little big so she found picking them up hard and was frustrated. Over the last few days shes been very concerned about the melting snowman and wanted to check on him every few hours.

Inka reading

Inka looking at her bible stories.

Pretty lights

Inka loved having all the family round for Christmas day. She handed all the presents out and carefully tore her own open. She likes to make sure the wrapping paper doesn't go on the floor and puts it in the bin even before she`s looked at the present. Her most exciting Christmas activity was spotting the Christmas lights on houses, she calls them "pretty lights".
We have a teenager with us, from Afghanistan, placed at the start of December. Life has been busy sorting things out for him. He speaks little English so using lots of hand gestures and pointing. Having Andy at home over the last few weeks has been great. Ive got a few lie ins...bonus! Inka has also enjoyed having both of us around to read to her and pay her loads of attention. I had the best Christmas present from Andy, a facial which my friend Hayley (who also got one for Christmas) and I had together and extended into a shopping day.