The bump

I know that some of you out there who haven't seen me for a while...all those Aussies and African relatives...want to see this, my bump. These were taken this morning. I'm 32 weeks now. The baby was kicking Andy in the eye in the other photo. Andy has been an amazingly supportive husband, making sure I'm looked after. He was in charge of researching and getting the buggy (pram) and took the job very seriously. We now have a grass green bugaboo. Its amazing that a little baby can acquire so much before her life even begins. I was planning a home birth but when we visited Worthing hospital last week and I was very impressed. I was drawn to the idea that being in hospital might mean Ill get looked after a bit more, get more help and not worry about whose around downstairs hearing me scream blue murder when I'm going through labour.

Rye`s cobbled streets

For those who have not met our family yet ... here is a photo of Mimo, Helen and me. Mimo is 14 years old , Helen 16. Ferdinand (not in photo), our first foster son moved out of our home into the big wide world August 2006. Not far, only a few minutes away. We have now been fostering three and a half years. I call it backward parenting as we started our parenting experience with teenagers first. I love fostering, even though it can be hairy and we have had to sacrifice a lot to do it. Ive learnt a lot about myself and my faults, but then that's parenting whether your children are yours or not. I get frustrated when people compare our experience to looking after foreign students or lodgers and say "Well, it will be different with your own children". Andy and I have always loved our three like our own, even when we could have had an easy life and left them to their own devices, we have decided to do as we would with our own and confront. I love this photo, it was taken in Rye, East Sussex on our holiday in May. The cobbled streets are beautiful and you can see for miles if you brave the narrow staircase to the top of the church bell tower. It reminds me of good times with these two.

Baby Baby Baby

The little girl at 20 weeks. A bit late putting these on as I'm already 31 weeks gone. She is certainly a wriggler. Midwife says my bump is the perfect size for my weeks and no problems. I'm not sleeping as well as I'm used to because of trips to the loo and hip aches. Apparently I snore now too so Andy has left me and gone to sleep downstairs in the baby`s room. Well at least I get the bed to myself and he doesn't wake me up with his snoring. Antenatal yoga run by a retired midwife has been very helpful to keep me relaxed and joints supple. It is completely odd and miraculous to know you have a human life inside you. Its an amazing experience being pregnant knowing you ll soon be responsible for a life.

8 years

I cant believe that its been a whole 8 years! On the 9th January 1999, a very odd time to get married due to its proximity to Christmas and New Year, Andy and I became husband and wife! We were both 23 years old (aaaaaahhh) . I had adjusted to life in a new country, had 3 jobs in that time, moved 3 times and had all the pressures of leading a youth group and planning a wedding in the space of a year! The church was only about 50 people but they were amazing planning and helping out. I think our wedding came to £1500 altogether, including dress, venue and honeymoon! All the church brought food and the dress was a present from Andy`s aunt Stef, even my old boss did a deal for me with the blues band. That's what it was all about for us, a wedding that showed true community and unpretentiousness (I'm not sure that's a word!).

I always thought that with time you took your other half for granted and soon it would be inevitable that you wouldn't love them as much...all that heart fluttering, young love would come to an end. Nobody warned me it would take on a greater, deeper and all more significant emotion altogether. I used to scoff at old people talking about how you husband becomes good companionship. May be they used the wrong word or I didn't get their meaning. Andy has become my best friend, the one who loves me no matter what. That's no small thing. To trust someone so completely and whole hearted is truly incredible. When I saw Andy for the first time I felt God tell me I that he was the man I was going to marry. I didn't believe that voice at first. God chose well, he always knows what we need. I'm so glad I waited for the right one to give myself too. What a man.

Big Head!

Scan of the baby at 12 weeks. Ive never been good at making out the baby in scan pictures. Dont worry if you feel the same. It was amazing to see there was something in there and not me imagining things. She did a somersault and it looked like she was waving at us. Sometimes she would look like an alien...

My first dedicated to Robb

Ahhh my very first blog. How fun.

Decided that it may be a good time to blog as a little girl is about to be born in March or April. In other words Im pregnant and due 28th March.

I dedicate this to Robb Heaton who was a blogger himself and has inspired me to be candid with my thoughts. I think thats one thing Robb really taught me...being honest and real is important and I think Im sometimes too self conscious about how I feel. Why should I be? Its more helpful for everyone to know where youre at. Ive also realised that we dont always say the things we want to say...we leave it for that perfect moment that may never happen. I certainly felt that when I saw Robb last Sunday night, we talked about trivial things, I held back. Then he died really suddenly that next morning. I wished I said how I felt about him, wished I could have expressed that there and then on that night. I thought Id have more time. Im going to let that be a lesson to grab the opportunities to say how much I care for people around me. I am blessed by so many amazing friends, a community that is my church, a beautiful family and Gods love throughout my time knowing him.